New Day but same problems

I think I will stick with yesterday's topic of True Long-Term Relationships and edge into the term "commitment" today. Yesterday, I spoke of the difference between LTRs and TLTRs; the main difference being the word "true" and what it refers to in an LTR. Truth is a fundamentally important concept in relationships of all types. I can't imagine being in an LTR without truth being one of the foundation blocks. If truth flows through your life and your loves and all your relationships, it just seems to make life easier and much more fulfilling. Here's one big example. I am divorced. In an effort to try and meet more people, I have, over the years, joined and explored several online dating sites. You know, there is a lot of pain and suffering going on in the lives of most of the people on these sites. People have, normally, been hurt by past spouses, lovers, and so forth and are very guarded in what they say and don't say. I think I could go into weeks and weeks of discussion just on these sites, but the point I want to make here today is that what I see a lot of are the guarded emotions of people reflected in the lies/deceptions they portray on these sites. People tell you who they are and what they want and, so often, this is not the truth of the matter. I am not talking about the scammers and predators on sites like these. Though they are rampant, they can, usually, be noticed, figured out, and avoided without too much trouble. No, the ones I am talking about are those people who feel the need to cover up themselves by using false characteristics to get people to check them out. Years ago, I agreed to meet with a young woman who, I felt, had a lot in common with me. We agreed to meet at a local restaurant and eat/chat for a first meeting. When I arrived, it was apparent, first, that the picture in the site was not at all a recent photo, nor was it representative of the person. This, along with other things discovered during the meal/chat helped me to understand that this person was hoping that, if she could just get people to meet her (by lying, basically), they would be so overcome by what a wonderful person "she was" that they would care for her and forget the lies. Was she really trying to deceive people? I don't think so; not really. She had to know that most guys would not put up with someone who, the first thing they noticed, was that the other person was lying. They had to know this. So, what I think is that they were very desperate, not because they were not worth knowing, but because they think that are no longer worth knowing. They do not believe in themselves as worthy of love or care. I grew up with very low self-esteem; I know this feeling; I remember avoiding a lot of social gatherings, because I didn't want to take the chance of people finding out I was really nearly worthless under whatever guise I was wearing. If I did attend, I tended to keep to myself or to only talk to my close friends or to keep the talk very light. I have overcome the vast majority of that today; however, it took years of work, counseling, trial/error situations, and determination that I was worth it. That last part, by the way, is the most important as you will get nowhere at all until you believe in yourself. There are a lot of good books and movies and such on that subject and we can discuss those if you choose to in the discussion. What it all boils down to is that you need commitment in your LTRs so they become TLTRs, and you can't give that commitment well until you can do it with truth, and that first means not lying to yourself. I look forward to your comments, Scott