Seeing Past to the Reality Beneath

Another important step in beginning the path of working with mind/spirit/nature connections is to be able to see people as they really are. Someone comes into work and is grouchy to you; a person honks at you while you are driving; someone calls you a name; someone talks down to you or treats you like an inferior.

All of the above, I imagine, sound familiar to most of you. I know that, in my lifetime, I have had all of the above, and worse, done to me. I don't quite react the same way (well, 99% of the time) as I used to. It is harder to make me angry back at someone/something. More importantly, it is harder to make me angry on the inside. The reason is simple: I have improved on my ability to see people as they really are.

This has happened because, mostly, I really try to pay attention to people and not just hear or see them. Working with students who have anger problems helped me a great deal because, nearly all of the time, when they go off at me, it's not me they are angry at. In fact, most of the time, I am their "safety net". They know they have a better chance of getting away with getting angry at me than at anyone else. They know I will listen and try to help them. Most of the time, it is fear that drives them, and I believe it is mostly fear which makes all of us get angry. I have been told that anger is not really an emotion; it is a "secondary" emotion; it comes from a deeper emotion, usually fear. This is important, not only to help you see others truly, but to help you see yourself truly. Next time you get angry, take a good look and try to see why you are angry. Then, look deeper and try to see what you might be afraid of that is making you show anger. For instance, if someone gets mad at the way you do something at work, and you get angry, perhaps, you are afraid that, if they see it, others might, too, and you might get in trouble or fired. If that's the case try to diffuse the angry by looking at it as a positive note: What are you doing? Is it really wrong/bad? Should you change it? Those three questions can stifle the anger and, perhaps, point you to a way of not having to hear that statement again by fixing the problem.

Only by knowing yourself can you know others. The infinite connections we have with the universe can all work together to help us if we are willing to truly look.

I look forward to your comments, Scott