Sunday, February 14, 2010
The First of a long series - and some guidelines
I would like to continue this one for a few days, but am also content with changing at any time Here's what I envision, though you could change the format with comments and suggestions:
I will begin with a topic. The first one is True Long-Term Relationships. I will send out an initial post for the topic (below). After that, I will join you in the discussion as I can. You can change the topic at anytime or we can have 1 or 2 flowing through. the biggest thing for this blog is that it is to be positively-oriented, non-judgmental, and aimed at helping people in mind/spirit building. If I see the topic going too far off-track, I will post a change of topic and a new original posting to get it going.
I am truly looking forward to this. Though the monetary value of the blog is secondary to me, I would appreciate a click or two on the ads to help both this website and me.
Thanks,
Scott
First Posting on Long-Term Relationships (LTR)
I chose this as the first in a long series of mind/spirit topics because I don't think people truly value what goes into a LTR. Oh, anyone can have an one. It isn't too hard to get involved with someone and head toward marriage. However, that is not what I am talking about here. Instead of LTR, I am speaking of TLTR, or TRUE ones. This means that, not only is it a Long-Term Relationship, but that it centers on a solid, loving, caring relationship. Most people think they have a good idea of what this means, but, as I look at the world, the people I know, the ones I read about, and the whole order going on around me, what I see are people who are "settling" for being together and finding out that the communication level is poor, the knowledge of each other is poor, and the desire to love each other and help each other through rough times is poor.
Tell me your thoughts, your experiences, and your dreams...Help us to understand both how we're are alike and different in these areas as well as where we need to be heading to become involved in a truly loving, long-term relationship that will keep us being the best we can be.
Namaste,
Scott
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4 comments:
I think this blog will do fine. In fact, looking at it, I feel calmer and happier. Long-term relationships, I believe, can become true even if they don't start out that way. What I think is needed to change them is having the people in the relationship acknowledge each other and begin to love, trust, and care on a whole different level. Fear is what stops this most often. Fear in ourselves and fear to trust others.
I agree. Trust and fear go hand-in-hand. One always seems to be with the other. The problem is that they, often, cancel each other out. What we have to do is to see fear for what it is...just an opinion we have made regarding something that may or may not be truly worth that fear. Stepping out of an open airplane door without a chute is, most likely, dangerous. However, telling someone you care about them and asking them if they care about you is not truly dangerous. You might not get the answer you would choose, but you will survive and can improve, try again, and move on.
Great advice you give, Scott! One thing I would like to add here, from my perspective, is I wouldn't engage in any LTR without God functioning at the center. Relationships take much effort at best and I don't believe a couple can truly develop the kind of relationship you're referring to without God's help!
Ron and I have been married for nearly 25 years with many hills and valleys. We are now settling into a very loving, comfortable relationship. No one knows me like Ron does...we share everything. I agree with you that communication is essential to a healthy relationship. We didn't get to the place we have without honest, sometimes tough, communicating.
The cool thing is, now that our children are nearly out of the house, we don't look at one another and say, "Who are you?" like many couples do.
Bottom line, through much prayer for God's wisdom and guidance in a LTR, the willingness to work things out when they become difficult, and the willingness to sacrifice one's own desires to make the other happy...is recipe for a very fruitful and wonderful relationship.
Ron's philosophy has been: "What's wrong with treating a husband like a king if he treats his wife like a queen??"
I love that...because you get back what you give out in life and it's no different in a LTR.
Best wishes as you seek to find your soul mate! You deserve the very best my friend!!
Marisa
I think we get to the point in LTR's where the honeymoon ends, and we begin to see the other person's humanity. That's when it seems to go down hill for me... I also have a fear that my spouse and I might begin growing at different paces, and then several years down the road, we have almost nothing in common. That scares me! :O
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