When and Why?

I had a friend make a request that I discuss the whens and whys of sex in a relationship. I know that is an explosive subject, so I would ask this: I don't mind any opinions on the topic; however, I would like people to remember this is a spiritual site, not a religious one. So, please keep the criticism and judgments out. With that in mind, I will approach this one...

I think the problem with a lot of close relationships is that they are based on sex instead of using sex as an extention of the relationship. In other words, sex becomes the goal instead of just a part of a growing closeness.

In a society in which sex permeates every area of life, we may, too often, put sex on an altar and almost worship it as the end all to everything. Young people (and a lot of older ones, too) feel that, if the sex isn't great, then the relationship is doomed. I suppose some of my beliefs have changed because of my age, but I have also seen and talked to many people who have centered their relationship on love, caring, and living a wonderful life together and, for most of them, sex is an additional blessing, not the end in itself.

Well, enough from me. I am looking forward to hearing your comments, Scott